Monday, November 26, 2007

CALLED, BUT UNHEARING

I almost dropped the printouts as I pulled them out from the dot-matrix machine.

I stared at the sheets -- not comprehending what I was seeing.

Those were computer exercises, some sort of user's manual for word Perfect I was preparing. They were for teaching basic computer applications to a group of government information officers. The exercises had to be "for-dummies" manuals that had to be step-by-step and illustrated. So, I had typed -- line by tedious line -- little squares to show "control," "shift," "alt," "enter," "delete" and "space" bars and keys.

So, where were the squares I painstakingly typed? Darn! -- all I was seeing were letters formed into boxes.

dddy, dd
dddy, dd
dddy, dd
dddy, dd

Hundreds of dddy, dd squares all over 10 sheets I had just printed.

"Hey," I called out to colleagues working around me in the computer station. "Get a load of this!" They came and looked and stared and scratched their heads. "How did you do that?" they asked, incredulous. "I don't know," I answered honestly.

Only the day before, I was doing the same thing, and the boxes came out as -- well, what else? -- boxes!

My thoughts anxiously flew to Novaliches, where my daddy, half blind and bed bound, lived with my sister. Why, -- I argued with myself reasonably -- hadn't I just visited him last Sunday? And wasn't he in good spirits? And didn't he finish his favorite crispy pata with relish?

I brushed aside morbid thoughts, and went right back to work.

That night, at about 8 pm, we were saying our family prayers when a car pulled up by our gate, and continued to purr ominously. Even before I heard the doorbell ring, I knew my folks had come to tell me my daddy was dead. Dddy, dd.

"He died around 6 pm," my sister said, " quietly, apparently in sleep."

"Yes," I replied. "He called me at past 4, but I didn't hear or didn't listen."

P.S.

1. After we buried our dad, I tried many times to make boxes on Word Perfect to make it show dddy, dd again. But I never succeeded.
2. This happened in 1995 when MS Word and laser printers were still years away from being invented.
3. And yes, we called our dad Daddy.


64 comments:

Gina said...

Not sure if my comment went through- so I'm typing this comment again =P

Spirits do have a way of communicating.
This post reminded me of a very good friend of ours who died back in 2001.One day, I was talking with Tony on the cell, when I had a call waiting. I just let it ring, and afterwards checked who called. It was our dear friend Ma'am Evelyn's (she was my professor /clinical instructor back in college)# that showed. The thing is, that day, she was lying in state. I called back just to see if it's one of her family who wanted to contact me, but the girl on the other line told me that the phone was in the bedroom and nobody was using it. I knew it was Ma'am Evelyn sending us a message of hope- that there is life after death.

myepinoy said...

I bet daddy's girl ka siguro.

Kung nasaan man sya palagay ko happy sya sa yo kasi di na sya nagparamdam ulit sa pamamagitan ng printer.

Or this is just one of the many experiences you have sa dddy,dd mo.

Leah said...

There s always a scientific explanation to oddities that happen like so. But I daresay it was certainly enigmatic. A call of the unheard?

noemi Dado said...

wow, that's indeed strange but comforting in a way that your dad reached out to you. But how would yiu have known? I remember how my dad also bedridden and comatose suddenly sat up in his bed, gave a long stare from faraway , tears glistening...we thought he was getting better but apparently he was already being called. A few minutes later, he went into a coma.

ScroochChronicles said...

Yikes!! What a way to contact you from the other side. Strange, but don't our loved ones show us their love in uncanny ways.

Something similar happened to my sister after our father passed. He died of cancer (lung related). A few days after he passed, my sister was going to do some work on the computer. When she switched it on, the printer automatically turned on as well and started printing. It was an article on lung related carcinoma!! And she doesn't remember reading it previously!!

cathy_bythesea said...

what a wonderful story myrna! many things we cannot explain. sometimes they come to us in dreams too. it's always a comfort to me when God allows Migi to send us messages from above on significant dates. thanks for sharing.

snglguy said...

Some things in this world can never be explained scientifically, so we turn to faith.

Could it be that your Dad was trying to reach you before he makes his final journey? Perhaps... who knows?

Em Dy said...

Nakakapangilabot but reassuring at the same time. A message from out there. I thought initially that a computer virus was the problem.

Heart of Rachel said...

It's a touching story. Your dad must have wanted to say goodbye in whatever manner he can.

** I have something for you on my blog. **

Gypsy said...

Wow. I think maybe it was an act of grace from God--preparing your heart for your dad's departure...

ladycess said...

yiii, tumayo ang balahibo ko.

but i think this is really heartwarming. this is good stuff for a tv drama or a movie.

nakatayo pa rin ang balahibo ko.

sasha said...

What made you remember him today, tita? He was just saying goodbye and take care when you saw all those "dddys, dds"...

God has a way of connecting us to our love ones especially in times they need us the most.

I miss our chikahans, tita! :)

dimaks said...

ah, you have been seeing signs.. things and events definitely can manifest in many forms. they are just around but only beneficial to those who heed and listen.

lazarus said...

i guess this is somewhat similar to my Great grandpa's goodbye to my dad.

Annamanila said...

Gina!

Yes, I think you are right. Spirits -- and by that time my dad's spirit may have already detached from his shell -- have a way of communicating. That story about your friend is uncanny too. thanks for sharing.

Annamanila said...

Myepinoy!

Perhaps I was a daddy's girl too -- only I didn't know it. It was common family knowledge that he doted on my sister who became the lawyer that he wanted to be. :)

That was the first and last time he tried to communicate with me. And I was unheeding. :(

Annamanila said...

Leah!

I dont know that there are always scientific explanation to all events. I know there is more than meets the eye. :)

Annamanila said...

Noems!

How could I have known? Yes, that was my excuse. If I had heeded the summons, what difference could it have made. Pero sa tutuo I think he died alone. :(

Annamanila said...

Scrooch cookie!

Oo nga, similar nga. And computer technology di ang ginamit. Thanks for sharing this.

Annamanila said...

Cathy!

We still carry our beloved departed within us, don't we. In that sense, they will never leave. :)

Annamanila said...

snglguy!

I believe almost a hundred per cent my father did try to reach me before he left through that means -- the computer and printer.

Annamanila said...

Em dy!

This is the one incident in my life that gets closest 'twilight zone' and 'one-step-beyond' phenomena.

Annamanila said...

Rach!

I think so too, Rach, my dad was trying to reach me before going.

Thanks for the award ... it's precious!

Annamanila said...

Gypsy!

An act of God absolutely!

Annamanila said...

Lady Cess!

Palagay ko balbon ka!

I always love your responsive posts to my posts, Cess. See ya soon.

Annamanila said...

Sasha!

It's my dad's birthday in a week. Maybe I post one about him -- the many splendored person that he is. So this posts is jus an intro.

Hey, miss ko na din chat natin. You seem so busy, you successful problogger you!

Annamanila said...

Dimaks!

You're so right. I must have missed some message when I failed to respond when I was summoned that day.

Annamanila said...

Lazarus!

I had better check your archives for that post about your dad and grand dad.

niceheart said...

At first I thought, what were you doing teaching students that you printed from a dot-matrix machine, so behind? :) I have never experienced anything like this. When my father fell seriously ill in 2001, akala ko magpaparamdam din siya. But he didn't. Although kind of freaky, it must be comforting to see the letters dddy, dd. Sort of his last goodbye to you.

monaco said...

for a while there I thought this happened just recently, and I was ready to type in my condolences.

I heard of a similar situation when my friend died from a motorcycle accident. his lola received a text message from him about an hour after he died. that's when I started to believe that spirits can really communicate from the other side. though I have a third eye, I have never had such contacts.

bw said...

very strange coincidence indeed.. you almost feel like it is not and that something more than energy we know had caused this incident on purpose..

Abaniko said...

Parang telegram ano? Too supernatural for me. Nakakapangilabot but of course, not for you. It was probably his way of preparing your heart for his passing.

ysrael said...

No comment ako sa ganitong mga paramdam, iba kasi paniwala ko dito. But it was heartwarming your attachment to your dad. Hindi ko naramdaman ang ganito sa father ko kasi medyo iba ang dating non parang military, but I missed him when he past away 4 years ago.

vernaloo said...

sa totoo lang medyo di ko na gets yung sa umpisa...mababa ata score ko sa computer studies nung high school hahaha

anyway...nakakapanindig balahibo naman yan. Parang gaya sa friend ko na before sha namatay due to a plane crash eh nagparamdam muna sa akin.

Annamanila said...

Niceheart!

Confusing ba ang story? I have this thing against telling a very clear and straightforward story. Pa style kuno kuno.

Yup, it was my dad saying a last goodbye but I was dense or lazy or both and didn't listen.

Annamanila said...

Monaco!

You have the third eye! So you must have some paranormal experiences, not necessarily with the dead? Share!!

Annamanila said...

Bw!

Yes there is energy out there, in here, around us that can make things happen. We are more than this body. And the universe is more than just the physical world.

julie said...

At least he tried to contact you, no matter how spooky it may be to others.

He must have favored you, AM that's why that happened :)

Annamanila said...

Abaniko!

At that time, it was too supernatural for me too. I have very few of these paranormal experiences, given how long I have been around. :)

Annamanila said...

Ysrael!

Saba nagcomment ka na din. Ok lang naman different opinion, basta expressed nicely. hahaha I like diversity.

Annamanila said...

Vernaloo!

Mukhang magulo nga yata pagka-kwento ko ano. Daming na-confuse.

How did your friend make paramdam?

lazarus said...

Anna, my post is entitled "A Goodbye from a departed". May comment ka na dun.
http://left-over-thoughts.blogspot.com/2007/11/goodbye-from-departed.html

Annamanila said...

Teacher Julie!

Yes, he tried to contact me. Both my sisters were also at work at that time. Who knows he didnt try to reach them too in some way or other. Only, they were, like me ... hard of hearing too.

Annamanila said...

Lazarus!

Ahahay nagkabistuhan na ... may alzheimers na ako. ay josko.

Will go back anyway.

jerry said...

This is uncanny. I have no personal experiences with the paranormal. So I always dismiss stories like this as imagination or superstition. But I am having second thoughts, anna.

tani said...

This is incredible. I do believe in such messages from departed loved ones. May your Daddy rest in peace. He lives on in your memories of him.

kathy said...

I call my Dad Daddy, too. When he died, I didn't experience anything outside of the ordinary.

But what an amazing story you shared, Anna. It only goes to remind us that inspite of what we think we know, there is still a lot of things that we can never fully comprehend in this world.

exskindiver said...

what a great story.
it is also comforting to be reminded that this life is just a preparation for the next.
how often we forget this.

Annamanila said...

Yes, Jerry!

It is good to be open minded. Diversity of opinions permits us to learn new things and broaden our perspectives. :)

Annamanila said...

Tani!

I like the way you put it -- they live on in our memories of them.

Thanks.

Annamanila said...

"Inspite of what we think we know, there is still a lot of things that we can never fully comprehend in this worldI" -- very well said, Kathy! Thanks!!

Annamanila said...

Chesca!

Life has many doors. Even death is just a door. :) Thanks for your insight.

auee said...

hala I think this is the second time a post of yours made my hairs stand on end...

happysarah said...

my greatest fear in life is losing my dad...i get scared everytime i read and hear about someone losing their parent...cuz my dad is the love of my life...

Belle said...

what an incredible story!it must his way of saying goodbye to all his loved ones.

when my mother died, i heard eerie midnight howl of animals, which i thought was just a coincidence. reading your story affirms that those howls were my mom's way of saying goodbye.

Annamanila said...

Auee!

I guess this is a bit close to a twilight-zone kind of tale. I still dont have an explanation for it. Ergo, I was really called but was unheedful.

Annamanila said...

Happysarah!

Necessary Losses, Viorst calls them. She refers not only to the loss of a loved one by death, but also the alienation from a friend, the breaking up from a romantic relationship, the loss of youth, etc. The sooner we accept that the better we can cope with life.

Stay happy!!

Annamanila said...

Belle!

When the spirit detaches from the body, what can prevent it to reach out to their loved ones through variuos means. Dogs, butterflies, even pcs and printers. :)

Heart of Rachel said...

Hi! How are you? Hope you're doing well.

We had bouts of electrical fluctuations (or something like that) yesterday because of the strong winds here in Batangas. Despite that, I love the current climate. No need for a/c or electric fan at night. :) Pero sana lang wag naman masira ang PC ko dahil sa kaka brownout. Today, so far so good, baka yesterday lang talaga yun power fluctuations.

Regards.

Annamanila said...

Rach!

Are you based in Batangas? Or just vacationing there? But the climate is usually cool there, di ba -- at least cooler than in Manila. Shucks -- brownouts are a bane to us, internet aficionados (note that I didnt say, addicts, haha). Sana nga your pc will hold. Don't those power surge and voltage regulators help protect the pc?

I am a-okay, Rach. Just a bit more busy than usual. :)

Major Tom said...

Amazing coincidence. A premonition I fully believe it was. And I could believe in it undoubtedly.

SexyMom said...

strong bond indeed, strange, but it happens.

i was in beijing when my daddy died. he was ill, yes, but i told him before i left for a 6-mo assignment to wait for me. i was short by 1 month, but i knew all along during that day that i was to hear some news from my family. and true enough, the moment i stepped in my hotel room--i got the news. no time for me to pack, i just took the next trip to HongKong then Manila.

our daddies are at peace now, Annamanila, but they did have a way to reach out even in their hour of death.

Annamanila said...

Major Tom!

Aha, a premonition and a summons!

Annamanila said...

Sexymom!

I was here, not away, when my father died but still ....

But you're so right. They're at peace now. And they did try to connect with us when they were about to go.

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