A baby girl is born today.
From the nowhere into the everywhere? I say -- from a magical somewhere smack into my center.
Soon as I enter the hospital room, beaming dad ceremoniously hands the bundle over to me -- as mom looks on still in a drugged daze. I accept her gingerly with the vaguely-remembered juxtaposition of arms: the left pillowing the head, the right, catching the back and buttocks. As I relax, she fits snugly like she has always belonged there -- into the crook of my arms.
I gaze deeply ino the tiny face, surprisingly full and unfurrowed. No after-birth blemishes there. I will her eyes to open, and they obey languidly, reluctantly, revealing the folds I want to see. I will her to smile, and she obliges with almost a chuckle. "Do you know me," I ask softly, and the half-laugh makes an encore.
How does it feel to finally have her, hold her -- our small audience wants to know.
I smile broadly, hard pressed to answer.
From the nowhere into the everywhere? I say -- from a magical somewhere smack into my center.
Soon as I enter the hospital room, beaming dad ceremoniously hands the bundle over to me -- as mom looks on still in a drugged daze. I accept her gingerly with the vaguely-remembered juxtaposition of arms: the left pillowing the head, the right, catching the back and buttocks. As I relax, she fits snugly like she has always belonged there -- into the crook of my arms.
I gaze deeply ino the tiny face, surprisingly full and unfurrowed. No after-birth blemishes there. I will her eyes to open, and they obey languidly, reluctantly, revealing the folds I want to see. I will her to smile, and she obliges with almost a chuckle. "Do you know me," I ask softly, and the half-laugh makes an encore.
How does it feel to finally have her, hold her -- our small audience wants to know.
I smile broadly, hard pressed to answer.
I know what I am expected to say but I simply can't say it.
How explain the alchemy of feelings too new or long forgotten for words? A sense of wonder at creation. Of being mystically and inextricably linked to yet another human being. My happiness yet again dependent on another's. My peace once more fragile and imperilled.
How explain the alchemy of feelings too new or long forgotten for words? A sense of wonder at creation. Of being mystically and inextricably linked to yet another human being. My happiness yet again dependent on another's. My peace once more fragile and imperilled.
And how give voice to a stealthy fear -- fear of the bleak prospects of this hapless country, the uncertain future of this threatened planet.
All because a child is born.
Andrea Lorraine
31 comments:
What a wonderful way to express your feelings as you hold a newborn child. Guess it awakened mothering instinct for an infant that have been dormant.
And who's is the baby? Warm wishes to the parents. To them I would say, enjoy the bliss while you can, until the baby begins to walk and talk, :D
Cannot be told in a much better way than you did, my dear--my eyes were teary. Congratulations, and welcome to a similar word I have been into 4 years ago.
Are you a new grandma, miss anna? Congrats then.
What a very beautiful and honest post.
Erm, aren't you too young to be a grandma? *wink wink* ;-)
So, who does she look like?
Oh and congrats by the way... :-)
She's pretty I can tell!
And this is such a sweet, heartwarming welcome post for her... I could imagine you as the glorious doting grandma haha
congrats, and enjoy your first apo. :)
Congrats, Anna! And to the proud parents as well.
Congrats!
congrats myrns. What a beautiful baby. If that were me, I will cry with joy. I always cried with joy whenever I gave birth.
Such a beautiful baby! It's so true: holding a newborn opens a floodgate of feelings. Congrats, Annamanila!
Congratulations to the proud 'Lola' (?)!
She is beautiful...
Congrats, Annamanila! Does this mean you'll be away from Scrabble for a while? You now have a new beautiful distraction. :)
Wow, congrats!!! So cute!! I used to be (in fact, I still am) afraid of carting newborns. Always scared that I would drop them or hold them wrongly.
What a lovely dedication to someone so sweet and beautiful. Congratulations for welcoming a special lil' one in your life. Wishing her best of health. God bless.
Congratulations! An angel has come.
I take it's your granddaughter...Congrats Ana :-)
she's gorgeous!
Your sense of wonder, happiness and peace with the birth of your first granddaughter together with your written fear -- fear of the bleak prospects of this hapless country, the uncertain future of this threatened planet--
proves what F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote: that one sign of a "first-rate intelligence" is the ability "to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function."
Great post, Annamanila.
puwera usog, but she is the most beautiful baby i have recently seen. congratulations to the first time lola!
i love this composition, anna..so beautiful! hope your apo will be able to read this someday.
Hi Myrna, CONGRATULATIONS on the new bundle of joy in your family...She's one cute little baby....
Annamanila, you almost gave me a heart attack. I thought you gave birth! :) Now, isn't it wonderful to grow old? To have your own beautiful apo! :) Congratulations!
aww she's lovely... I have the urge to just cuddle her & kiss her nape. Kakagigil.
So sino nga mas matimbang? Ang anak o ang apo? Hmm.
cutie! kakagigil! congrats to all of you :)
the fear ? - yup, i understand. we feel the same fear esp when we watch the news. naiiyak ako, kasi feeling ko pwede mangyari sa anak ko.
Congratulations, Anna!! And, I must say, your little angel is so adorable and very pretty. I've fallen in love with her already :)
Thanks everyone who congratulated this first time grandma and admired my first grandchild.
When it has really sunk in, I will write more about how this experience feels.
Ty again and again. Ganda nya talaga ano?
She's so beautiful!
what a pritty girl! And a french christmas name: Lorraine is a prt of France
Friendly
Françoise
Geri!
Yes, she is .. and getting more each day. :)
Thats what you may call a biased opinion. haha
Framboisine!
Ah, yes. Now that you've mentioned it, there is a place in France called Lorraine. Why christmas name? Is Andrea connected with Christmas?
Thanks for visiting. Are you from France? One of my best online friends lives in Britanny.
very nice name. if i ever have a daughter, andrea will be one of her names.
Mari!
I didn't like the name at first. I like it now. :)
Congrats! She's a cutie.
so beautiful . congratulations granma. Andrea is so lucky to be your first grandchild. I am the oldest grandchild and i have a special relationship with my Mamalo.
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