Your Royal Weirdness or Mine?

Name six ways you are weird, my friends Chateau of imomonline and Dine of D-spot, ask me. It should have been a breeze to answer because behaving weirdly is one of the few things I do best. The only trouble was how to choose six among my hundred and one.

Lemme see. Where do I begin?

1. I am the most ligawin person in the world, and this hasn't remotely to do with being attractive to suitors unless you'd want to include young men (and women) who call up almost daily with propositions for yet another credit card deal or internet service. I am so ligawin I still lose my way around the UP campus after 30 years working there. I am so ligawin I'd enter the main door of an unfamiliar office, transact my business, and then try to let myself out through the door of the company President's room. I am so ligawin that when I eat out, I can get lost going back to my group's table from the comfort room of a biggish restaurant.

2. I am a compulsive mirror looker. I am drawn to anything that reflects my face -- including jeepney side mirrors, car windows, computer screens, the rounded side of spoons. My favorite gazing surface is the pupil of another person's eye or the shiny tip of his nose. Lately, however, I get more and more depressed when I look. I wonder why?!

3. I don't watch television -- unless it shows Philippine Idol, American Idol, or reruns of Meteor Garden and the Erap impeachment trial.

4. I don't eat breakfast and am constantly surprised my family expects me to cook it when our maid is away. My appetite is nil in the morning, begins to stir at lunch, perks up at dinner, and goes on a rampage at midnight.

5. I can't stand long telephone calls. After 30 minutes on the phone, my inner firewall goes up and I no longer hear. My ears begin to buzz, my eyes glaze, my responses reduced to soundbites like "uhmm," "aha," and "talaga." When at last, the voice at the other end thanks me for being such a good friend and listener, it's all I can do to keep me from hanging myself by the telephone cord.

6. I can't small talk. Put me in the company of people I don't know and I wouldn't know how to strike up a conversation, unless they'd want to listen to a discussion on why Hitler went to heaven. Maybe they sense this, so they give me wide clearance.

Katuwaan! Fun time! If you think you could get any weirder than me in my No. 1 (the ligawin thingie), I dare you to show me up with your own quirkiest. A surprise prize if you can beat me at being royally weird. We need an unbiased judge of course -- the first to volunteer gets it. The judge gets a keepsake, too, of course.

Note for the Non-Filipino reader:

The Pilipino word ligaw has two meanings: (1) courtship or love suit and (2) to be lost, not to know the direction. So ligawin can mean either (1) someome who is attractive to suitors; or (2) someone who has no sense of direction.

CONTEST UPDATE:

As of June 18, 1:00 a.m., we got a judge, Chesca (ex-skindiver) and six challengers: Chateau, Jigs , Evi, Sexy Mom , Richmond, and Jerry, an offline friend.