Sunday, March 11, 2007

RED MARKS ON MY MOMMY CARD (My Spotty Mommy Record - Part 3)

From responses to "Remember When" -- which should have been subtitled "Weird Mom" -- I suppose I might have made myself out to be better than I really am. To set records straight, here are conditional and failing marks on my mommy card.

Subject 1: Mommy poise and tactfulness

Children are often wary introducing me to their friends, since I can be taklesa (tactless), unpoised and impulsive daw.

Examples of unpoised and taklesa remarks:

To daughter's bestfriend's boyfriend seen for first time: "I heard so much about you, hijo -- hahaha. Don't worry mostly good things naman. hahaha Then whispers to daughter's friend: "You can do better than that."

To daughter's newly-married friend showing off her baby: "Hija, you have a baby na pala. Oh wow, she IS A BABY!"

To son's girlfriend getting ready to spend the night at home: "Hija, dito ka sa tabi ko matulog (sleep with me) ha? Bonding tayo." To son who showed a woebegone look: "I trust you. I don't trust your hormones."

To daughter's boyfriend all set to spend the night on sofa bed at home: "Ok lang. Gives me an excuse to play online all night -- hahaha! Don't do this too often ha?

To daughters, especially the one who has a serious boyfriend: "Kita nyo yung stock ng Whisper dyan? You should know I do a monthly inventory check of its usage."

To daughter's friend's mom, discussing the upcoming junior-senior prom: "Talaga -- you had a hard time finding your daughter a prom dress? Kami, we had a hard time finding ours a prom date."

To son's friends, bidding goodbye: "Uuwe na ba kayo? Oo nga, gabing gabi na."

To son singing to girlfriend on the phone: Wow, ang corny naman. *sabay hmpppphhhfff.*

To daughter bringing home a bunch of spider lilies from crush: Wow, sweet naman! *sabay kilig.*

Daughters also complain I don't call their friends' moms "mare," that I don't make beso-beso with them, that I don't small-talk them, etc.

Grade: 3 4 5 (Please tick one)

Subject 2: Motherly sacrifices

Young daughter once spent the night at a classmate's house and saw how friend's mom woke up at 5, prepared breakfast, fixed baon, waited with children for the service vehicle to pick them up, sent them off with a goodbye kiss.

Back home, daughter recounted the experience as though she just came from another planet.

Just because her own mom snored happily as daughters were woken by Aling Nellie, ate breakfast fixed by Aling Nellie, were helped to the schoolbus with their heavy stuff by Aling Nellie.

This is also the same mom who glared at them when they took too long with the pc, who tried to beat them to the utak of the bulalo (beef bone marrow), the belly, mata (eye) and sipsip (no translation?) of the bangus (milkfish), the puwet (butt) of the chicken, and other choice parts. The same mom who hides chocolates under her bed.

The same mommy who, because she doesn't eat breakfast, is constantly surprised that children and other people do.

Grade: 3 4 5 (Tick one)


Subject 3: Homemaking

Well, this mom's homemaking can be summed up in a favorite quote: A HOUSE IS NOT A HOME UNTIL YOU CAN WRITE ' I LOVE YOU' ON FURNITURE THICK WITH DUST.

Indeed, (almost) useless around the house except in gourmet cooking (ahem) and trying-hard baking. and low-maintenance gardening and .... and ..... uh-oh, wala na yata.

Enough said!

Grade: 3 4 5 (Tick one)


Grade me in the three subjects? *covers eyes.*

(P.S. Please grade me from 3-5 where:
3 = pasang awa (barely passing)
4 = conditional/with removal
5 = bagsak (failure)
Thanks, Leah, for alerting me I didn't explain my grading system. haha)

33 comments:

Leah said...

Hi Spotty Mom...Grabe ka sa mga punch lines. I sure would like to borrow some of those when time comes.

And your score...
5 being the highest
tactfulness and poise, i'd say 5 since ytou were indeed very poised in giving your tacless comments (ala Kris)
rating 3: i'd fail you on both sacrifices and homemaking based on your examples.

btw, I'll give you a 5 on this post for making me laugh.

annamanila said...

Leah!

Sorry, sorry, I should have told you I wanted you to use the UP rating system where:

3 = pasang awa
4 = conditional (kailangan kumuha ng removal para pumasa)
5 = bagsak.

Pero okay lang ... i know what u mean. (But I think I have to edit my post to make it clear. ty)

And I will give you a 1 (highest) for being an early bird. LOL sayang kung di kalang malayo, may prize ka na. LOL Another 1 for making me blush/flush. Yes, feel free to use my punchlines -- at your own risk. haha

dimaks said...

I give you 4 - conditional. Since that will keep you dynamic :) that means you will keep on going, keep on doing good and act towards betterment of those spotty things.

annamanila said...

Dimaks!

Ang bait naman ni Prof. Dimaks -- hindi nam-babagsak. Ty

Ok, will try to be dynamic. May pagasa pa kay?

kate said...

no! the same mom who shares very yummy chocolates with daughter's friend who spends too much time in their house! haha :) love the part with the tactless comments :) and i so had the same prob with my mom, di siya mahilig mang-small talk ng moms ng friends ko (not that i had lots when i was younger) :) heheh don't worry tita, you're a 3 to me (but that's just because the only options you gave are 3, 4 and 5)

rhodora said...

Anna! Hay naku, flat one as in UNO as in 1.0 ang grade mo sa akin!

Bakit 'kamo?Because 90 percent of the things you said here about you as a mom, applies to me as well.. Hahaha! Parehong pareho tayo, except maybe ---ummmm.. gourmet cooking and trying hard baking.. NEVER DONE THAT! Hey, you beat me there..

Pero, nasubukan mo na bang mag-inspect ng wallet ng son mo, at kapag may nakita kang condom, eh.... you will heave a sigh of relief? Shhh.. gawain ko 'yun! Nakupo! Ayaw ko pang magka-apo! Hahaha! We're both crazy moms talaga!

Gina said...

Whew, hirap palang maging titser! Hirap magbigay ng grade. Ewan, sa akin okay'ng-okay ka naman, eh. Basta i-pa-pass kita.
Advanced, Happy Mothers' Day...

annamanila said...

Kate!

Yehey. Pasado ako kay Kate. Your rating means a lot not only because you see my mothering face to face but also because you're Kate, special Kate, who sees more than meets the eye.

Imagine, best friend na ni bonch, blog buddy pa ng mom nya. Delightfully weird!!

annamanila said...

Oh my, you beat me there. Inspecting son's wallet for condoms and relieved if she finds the rubbers. Weirder than weird.

Talaga, pareho ba tayo? How dare! lol Seriously, that's such a comfort. Di pala ako nag-iisa.

I knew it .. knew at the outset we're kindred spirits.

Yung gourmet cook -- medyo exagj yun. hehehe but my lengua and karekare and embutido are to die for ... sabi ng aking mga fans (sino pa kundi yang aking mga overstaying boarders). Yung mga cakes ko ... rave reviewd din yan .. hindi nga lang magandang tingnan.

annamanila said...

Gina!

Pasang awa .. hahaha .. big thank you!! Maawain na titser.

Happy Mom's day din, Gina. Lapit na nga pala ano?

Noemi said...

hehe I don't know how to score. Kids will always squirm when moms say things that are not "in". Pero funny ka ha?

annamanila said...

Very true. I just make them squirm a bit too frequently. LOL

Funny? Who? hehe You should know better. haha.

sexy mom said...

omg! i'm late--i have been very busy lately! and thanks for the "laughs" and the "smiles", napatawa talaga ako sa iyong wittiness (may ganun bang word?)

i noticed the similarity, Anna--Rhodora-Dine (sexy mom), cool, weird moms!

as to grading, sorry, di kasi ako particular about grades. even if for those things, magbigay ng "5" or bagsak, alam ko naman, deep in their hearts, overall grade natin sa kanila ay "1" (bilib sa mga sarili ba?).

vernaloo said...

hahhaha hilarious! kakatawa ka talaga Anna...

Uhhmmm grade? Ano ba pinakamataas na grade? hehe :)

Gypsy said...

Bakit 3-5 lang ang grading system mo? I think uno ka! As in, wala yang pagka-tactless mo sa nanay ko--she tells her friends and my friends to find me a husband--how's that for tactless?! Hehe, sige lang, labs ko pa rin siya...

Plus, kaya ka uno sa akin, di ako ma-insecure maging nanay pag ikaw ang model ko esp sa sacrifice and homemaking. Pwede pa lang ganun. Type ko yan. Hehe.

kathy said...

Hahaha! This has got to be the wittiest, funniest entry ever! Thanks! Nakakatuwa talaga.

As for the grade...ahmm...puede na tres! Bakit kasi yun lang ang highest? :P

annamanila said...

Sexymom!

True -- we're three of a kind, tres majaderas, oooops, i mean muskiteras -- one for all and all for one.

Though you didn't grade me, you make me feel you might even exempt me from the finals. haha

annamanila said...

Well, I know you're ticklish. And ticklish people are great people!

Pero truelaloo (wow, nagamit ko na naman) .. naisahan mo ako sa latest post mo. I was starting to say pa naman -- bah early halloween piece.

annamanila said...

Gypsy!

Yes, everyone is a better mom pag ako ang reference point. hahaha.

Beware .. hwag tularan. hwag gawing 'type.' haha Pero read my previous post (or read it again). May saving grace din naman. haha.

We moms -- we win some, lose some. goes with your mom too.

annamanila said...

Kathy!

Isa ka pang madaling makiliti. Thanks. If you only knew the effort it takes -- the editing and rewriting -- to make my funny pieces funny rather than corny.

Thanks, generous grader. Sana teacher kita sa Math nuong araw. haha.

pining said...

Anna, I don't think you've done too bad, you're one cool mom, as from what I've read.. so I'll give you a 3, although I think you deserve more! ang hirap yatang magpalaki nang mga anak!

annamanila said...

Pining!

Masaya na ako sa tres! Too late to graduate cum laude. haha

Be happy!! What's your latest in brownie baking? Di ko pa nagawa ah.

Jerry said...

A 1.0 for poking fun at yourself and making us laugh. Smile, annamanila.

one o'd'aces said...

Take a bow mommy. Pasado ka din sa akin.

lady cess said...

hahaha! i am so enjoying your posts. the part where you said those things - i have a feeling i'll be saying those things when my children are all grown up at medyo (medyo daw o) impulsive ako when i make comments.

mataas ang grade mo sa akin - uno! i;m sure your children love you spots and all and thats the most important thing! :) cheers toyou!

annamanila said...

One'o'd!

Which ace are you? Anyway, whichever -- ikaw din, pasado din sa akin. Do I have a choice? And do you? haha labs

annamanila said...

Lady Cess!

There's something to be said about saying what's in our mind. And also about being discreet and prudent. A good balance should be fine. You know of course, that most of the things I say in my posts are tongue in cheek -- haha.

So you have young children. Enjoy them as you handle them with TLC. They are most delicious at this stage -- lol -- but also most malleableand impressive.

Thanks for making me feel I didn't do too badly. haha.

annamanila said...

Jerry!

Smiling almost with tears in my eyes. You see through. Thanks.

houseband00 said...

That was a fun read, Anna!

Passed with flying colors!

You did well! =)

annamanila said...

Houseband00

Passed, yes, i guess. But i dunno about flying colors.

Btw, I saw you are also one of H's readers. Galing nya ano? But I can't reach to her level at times. :(

houseband00 said...

I see you're already a fan, Anna. =)

Ang galing galing nga nun - magaling na manunulat at kaibigan.

And you, dear Anna, have a great gift for writing, too, no! =)

sheilamarie said...

LOL! i had a great time reading your posts, especially this one.

i read an article in a magazine (years ago) that said something like... "My Mum was so mean, and I'm going to be just like her." because the mom didn't let them date until the age of 18, had to have the date go to the door and fetch the daughters, etc. (it reminded me a lot of my mom at that time, haha)

u definitely get a grade of 1 :)

Prab said...

Ewwww. I'll give you passing na lang for the effort. :D

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