Saturday, September 19, 2009


We were lingering over dinner at Kalye ni Juan -- my certified platinum amigas and I -- when we got to talking about terra incognita. We agreed that though we go back many years and trust each other more than anyone else in the world, there are still things we keep from each other. Indiscretions. Intimate secrets. Deep, dark, dastardly episodes of our lives.

May these be now declassified? -- we wondered.

"Well, I plagiarized when I was in high school,” I began, feeling absolutely bold and wicked.

This opened a flurry of cutesy confessions.

“ I read my daughters’ diaries.”

"I sent Valentine's Day flowers to myself."

“I hid chocolate from my children.”

“I used to pad the family expense account.”

Someone yawned out loud then heckled : “Are we all so dull? Can't we talk of more exciting stuff?”

Such as what?

Such as – amidst giggles – did any one of us have a face lift or a nose job or a lipo?

Lipo? Uhmmm – an amply endowed amiga demurred – maybe this year maybe next year or just as soon as the clinics guarantee the bulges would stay deflated forever. Face lift? No, never, we chorused. Too invasive. Too much down time. Too hard to disclaim. Too expensive. Husbands will not allow it or will never stop throwing it to our -- uh oh-- faces when we complain about money. Children will tease and laugh. Children-in-law may gossip. And nose jobs? What for?! -- was the consensus, as each lifted her own proboscis a bit higher, regardless button-cute or just short of Grecian.

The only coy admissions that part of the session produced were to an eye job (by two amigas) and to re-landscaping in that region where babies pop out from (by almost all).

“Those are still so lame and tame,” the heckler complained again. “Don’t we have stuff rated X or R?”

“What about ... did we love someone we shouldn’t have?” Emma volunteered primly. Did I just imagine she blushed?

“Oh, you mean did anyone of us ever have an affair?” Lyn shot back as the heckler sat back with a smile that said "now we're talking."

We looked at each other, half expectant, half afraid of what we might be about to hear and not knowing how to deal with it.

No one should have worried. Nothing scary was forthcoming.

Jane broke the silence by persisting: “Such as what else?”

“Such as getting rid of someone we shouldn’t have?" -- this from me.

“Like an old flame?” Emma asked.

"A lover?"

"Or a baby?"

"No way!"

When do we take old skeletons out of cupboards? -- we speculated before we stood up to go home, none of us the wiser. Will there come a time they wouldn't shock nor embarass anymore? When we get to 65? 75? At our deathbeds?

When we have forgiven ourselves?

Maybe never.


Abaniko said...

You're right. Maybe, never. What's the point of sharing deeply embarrassing personal stories for the mere sake of shocking the listeners? Parang wala di ba? :-)

Leah said...

Have you seen "Bridges of Madison County?" I never fail to cry while watching this movie even after seeing reruns after reruns. Anyway, the main character kept her secret in a diary such that the kids will learn of how she was so in love with someone else despite sticking it out with her husband.

A diary will be a good secret holder until the very end...

Although sharing secrets with friends seems like a fun!!!

Rudy said...

Kaya nga tinawag na deep dark secrets eh. It's something that you share with no one but your maker, he he.

Woman said...

i think i cannot share to anyone these 'dark secrets', whatever they are, exciting or dull, extraordinary or not. i am afraid of what the consequences are.

exskindiver said...

i classify those topics as:

and i believe some things are better brought to the grave, than shared.

hi MC.

i miss blogging.
maybe today.

myepinoy said...

Maybe without the never is still positive.

How are you Ms.Annamanila?

carlotta said...

i guess there are just some things that are never meant to be said to anyone. maybe except when you really have to let it out if it burdens you a lot.

bw said...

And it follows that now that you're out of circulation being retired , you can now declassify your long kept secrets hehe.. baka kasi wala ng masyadong threat, or competition - no pressure for that proverbial manifest personality to show when you grinding it out in the corporate world :)

Not so much to say that you have given up but you guys seem to have found the ultimate freedom in retirement :)

Gypsy said...

Naku pareho tayo, I also plagiarized in high school--my High School Librarian's signature since she refused to sign my graduation clearance form kasi meron daw akong unreturned book, which wasnt true--so I guess you can say I am an Illegal high school graduate..hmm..does that nullify all the education I had after that?! hmmm...anyway, also want to check if you are okey and not affected by the floods?? Take care, Anna!

rhodora said...

I have shared all of my deepest secrets with my husband. Unfortunately, despite my all out honesty with him, he still betrayed me of trust and has been dishonest with me himself. So sad to realize you have entrusted all your life, everything about you to someone only to find out he has been keeping secrets from you all the while. Ah, life is not fair. :(

Great post, my friend. You never fail to surprise me with your beautiful entries. Be well always. :)

Hailey's Beats and Bits said...

i like this one so much. makes me look forward to meeting my friends...galing!

Hailey's Beats and Bits said...

i like this one so much. makes me look forward to meeting my friends...galing!

Toe said...

Very Sex and the City. :)

Gina said...

NEVER seems like a good idea!
MC, have u read my msg na on Facebook?

Take care ...

Gypsy said...

Helloooo've been tagged. ;)

karen (my life, my own piece of heaven) said...

hmmm... girl talk is still girl talk no matter what age. i hope my barkada will still be as close as years go by... just like you and your friends. =)

God bless

dimaks said...

i have treasured a reminder from a friend that one can save a secret by not mentioning it even to oneself.

dimaks here, coming out of the blogging hiatus vault, hehe.

how are you?

Kuya Ronnie said...

Ana now I am restless, How can I share my secret knowing that it might destroy my family, I'll keep it for as long as I can, I guess.

Dondi Tiples said...

At least no one has had a Hayden...este...Hidden Camera experience. That would be some secret!

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