Tuesday, October 14, 2008


What breached Camelot was another affair. Unlike the others before it, this one was serious. It broke their marriage.

It was in another Hong Kong trip where Yvette sensed that something was afoul. Taking the trip with them was Jorge's brother-in-law who planed in from California a week before. In Hong Kong, the brothers would disappear at 6 p.m. and would not reappear until the early hours of morning. In Manila, Yvette discovered that all the while, the new woman in Jorge's life was also booked in the same hotel their family stayed in. A neighbor heard Jorge boasting his audacious feat to a tennis buddy.

"Deny to the death si Jorge" when Yvette confronted him. It took a private detective for her to learn that the girl was a 27-year-old former guest relations officer -- also a former mistress of a businessman -- and that the lovers had rented a condo unit. As soon as she got the detective's report, Yvette packed all of Jorge's things and sent the bags to his clinic. Jorge brought them right back, fuming. He refused to go. He also refused to break up the affair. He came home erratically, spending more and more time with his girl. Soon, Yvette and Jorge were sleeping in separate bedrooms.

One day, he came home with a sheaf of legal documents. He wanted a separation of property. Yvette refused to sign. "Our children were begging me not to sign. They thought that if I signed, that would be the last they'd see of their father." But he asked her again and again. When she got tired of his pushing, she finally signed "... matigil lang sya from all the verbal insults he was giving me."

Within a few months, Jorge left the family home. But not before he accused Yvette of being "controlling and manipulative" and declaring that "he never loved me, was never happy with me." He dismissed their marriage as "wasted years."

Later, Yvette would herself put it this way: "We were meditating side by side. Suddenly, he snapped out of the trance, turned to me, and said: "I don't want this. I want romance in my life."

At first, Yvette tried to win him back. She asked friends and relatives to intervene. She stormed the heavens with prayers. She climbed Mt. Banahaw to invoke the help of the mountain spirits. She spent a small fortune on seers and clairvoyants at P10,000 per session. Someone told her of a new "technology" called "radionics" that could work like magic. For several nights, she mounted a picture of Jorge and then played tapes on family and moral values to the picture. All these to no avail.

She talked to Leila on the phone. She reasoned with her, described the family she broke up, warned her of karmic debts and responsibilities. She also told her that Jorge did not have much money, on his own. Leila snapped back: "He's not happy with you. Why do you force him to stay with you?" Later in their talk, Leila seemed to relent: "Alright, we're having dinner tonight. I will talk to him."

When Jorge came home the next morning, he woke Yvette and said: "Leila asked me to go back to you. So here I am."

Stung, Yvette was almost hysterical. "Is that it? You're coming back on her say-so? Do you really think I'd take you back on those terms?" Jorge left without replying.

The next day, Leila called: "I did my part. I can't do anything anymore." Yvette could only say later: " Ang yabang nya."

What made Yvette finally wake up was when Jorge phoned her to "get all your skincare products out of the clinic." Apparently, the lovers had taken a dealership with a competing company. Eventually, the business would collapse.

Three years into their separation, Yvette is beginning to heal. More intense meditation helped her tap the healing power within. She has joined a "truth-and-wisdom" group spreading the gospel of unconditional love and service to mankind. She lately learned that the best way to heal is by keeping busy and being preoccupied with other people's concerns.

She still hurts sometimes. While swimming in the beach last summer, her son almost drowned. After swimming to safety, he told Yvette: "You know, Mom, what gave me strength to swim in spite of cramps? I just thought of how much I hate Papa!"

It gets lonely sometimes. It has been one -- two -- three years of being celibate. She could have bonded. But with whom? The American whom she went out with for a while and who has kept calling and e-mailing? The sweet-faced, white-haired man who talks the same esoteric language she understands? But does she have to bond with someone special -- when all the world could be her lover. "Universal love, remember?" Yvette says chuckling.

A month ago, Jorge sent feelers he wanted to go back home. When Yvette asked him if he was about to give up his mistress, he smiled and laughed. "I think you want to come back for my money," she couldn't resist telling him, aware he was having financial trouble. He laughed again. She figured he was not ready.

If ever Yvette opens her doors, she'll make sure Jorge -- or whoever -- would give her space to practice what she has learned about loving and serving her fellows. She'd make sure nothing sets back her own sometimes faltering journey towards authenticity.

This journey is the most important thing in her life today.

She likes the woman that she is now evolving into. She organized a women support group to assist other hurt wives cope with the pain of betrayal. "As I help others heal, I also heal -- it is self-therapeutic."

The new Yvette feels more in charge of her life. It has empowered her to know that, much as she still loves Jorge, she could live happily without him. The new Yvette feels freer. This new sense of freedom will hasten her self-actualization, she says.

The last three years brought her self-esteem to an all-time low. Now, if Jorge told her again he never loved her, she could readily reply: "It's alright. I love myself."

She doesn't think of the future. She copes day by day, moment to moment. "Pag gising ko, thank you. Bago matulog, thank you ulit."

She also learned to take responsibility. It is neither all of Jorge's fault nor all of her fault. "We share responsibility. In a sense, Jorge is right in saying I manipulated him. I subjugated myself when I was with him out of fear. I lived a lie. I did not do it out of love -- for how could I have given love when I lacked self-love to begin with?"

In a previous life, she and Jorge were also a married couple who lived in England, she found out in a regression session with a psychologist-hypnotist. "In that earlier life, I was the one who was unfaithful. I ran away with a gypsy man," Yvette shares. The information helped her understand the law of karma.

The clouds above us join and separate.
The breeze in the courtyard leaves and returns.
Life is like that so why not relax?
Who can stop us from celebrating?

- Lu Yu


exskindiver said...

nicely done.
i love how you were able to turn this bitter tale into a love story
between Yvette and herself.

raqgold said...

it is sad to read stories of a love gone sour but i admire yvette for her strenght and i hope her kids would not be afraid to fall in love coz of what happened. my in laws just celebrated their diamond wedding anniversary, and i dream my husband and i would, too.

Rowena said...

Oh AM, another good read, sad but true. I missed you my buddy. I've seen, heard and read countless stories of betrayal/infidelity, I'm scared that it might happen to me also though I know hubs is so in-love with me, he he he. But when conscience-free women abound, we can never tell. Just like Yvette, I would have done the same thing, kick him out of the house...

imom said...

I like how it ended for Yvette. One's happiness should not have to depend on anyone.
That past-regression thingie intrigues me... :D Karma does come back, if not in this life, then in another. I've always believed in that.

Nyl said...

Yesterday, I read the book "Crazy Time".The book was about how to get over divorce. I don't know what force of nature moved me to read it. When I am still single and not even committed to someone.haha! And it says there that the experience is never easy like even going through an inventory of your emotional investments. Other than the fact that the kids will be even more get affected. What Yvette was going through during and after her marriage is a clear representation of life as not filled at all with beds of roses,regardless. But as some say that what comes around also goes around--i don't know if it is karma. It takes two to tango in every relationship..the husband might have cheated her but on the other way around, she might have her loopholes too.

Life is like that. We never really learn much about things if not tested by circumstances. I like the final quote. And it's true. For Yvette, her realization to finally learn loving herself before giving that love to others is right.

Even for a life now that is too complex. I have also learned to give thanks kung anong meron ako keysa maghanap kung anong kulang. Nothing can help us pick our self up other than our own.

worth reading!:)

Heart of Rachel said...

It's sad when someone falls out of love. When I was younger, I believed in fairy tales then as I grew older, I realized the happy ever after is not an ending that everybody gets in life.

I hope that Yvette can continue to reclaim her life and find the happiness she deserves.

cookie said...

What an inspiring tale. I admire how Yvette has managed to rise from the ashes of her failed marriage to realize that she needs to value herself. Loved it!

BTW, I have something for you on my site http://scroochchronicles.com/?p=642

rhodora said...

Oh, gosh, Anna... I don't know what to say. Bull's eye for me. :(

I am back to blogging, for good, I hope. Nice visiting you again, my friend. :)

vernaloo said...

hey I also want to try that regression session. I wonder who or what I was in my previous life though I don't really believe in such thing or maybe I just don't give much thought to it.

If it's true then that's kinda unfair, right? Karma's a bitch hehe

Really love the way you write Anna :)

Belle said...

am happy for Yvette. she did the right thing. and i hope it sends a message to women out there that they don't have to subject themselves to lifetime pain and betrayal, there is a way out. and if more and more women choose to do Yvette's route, maybe, just maybe it would discourage men from having an affair, yes? no?

LOREN said...

This is a sad story that I can actually feel the pain as if it's my own. On the other hand, nothing is happier than learning to love yourself and not trying to find love from other people..I do wish to go through a meditation class too (like yvette).. Thanks for the story Anna! I'm a regular reader of your blog.

pining said...

and Jorge deserves his comeuppance!
still, Yvette made the right decision not to let him in her life.
yet another inspiring story from you, thanks Anna :-)

Leah said...

I wish there is a crystal ball that will tell us of the future, that way we can decide properly who to marry. But that is not reality. I am happy to know that Yvette decided to let go. It is a sad ending but I know she will find happiness in her heart.

lady cess said...

assuming that your stories are based on real persons' lives -

is there any woman who confided to you with a similar story but with a different ending? where, after an affair, the marriage is able to survive? where the woman found herself AND got her husband back? where the husband has realized his wrongdoing and that his one true love is still his wife?

wala lang,curious lang ;)

Dine Racoma said...

reminds me of the last stanza of one of my poems:

But as life has to go on, it’s inevitable, no doubt
That albeit slowly, in a snap, you wake up from your trance
From nothingness and emptiness, you pick up the pieces
Gather whatever is left of your self worth and start to live again.

and i perhaps should revise the last verse to:

Gather whatever is left of your self worth and start to love yourself and live again.


ysrael said...

Well, I really don't want to comment on Yvette, it was her story wala yung version ni Jorge.
At least she is ok now and the nice part is hindi lang siya ang may problemang ganito.

Sexy Mom said...

somehow, Ysrael has a point. maybe someone should start writing stories like yours, showing naman the "male" side of the story. let's see what they have to say, and if they make sense at all. lol

Rudy said...

I say the guy has quite a thick hide. I mean, after all what he's done to her he still had the gumption to call her and tell her he wants to come back? Ay sus!

julie said...

It is a good thing that Yvette reinvented herself and even did better.

Life goes on, no matter what and so we deal with things like these positively. The road may be bumpy but hope and healing are definitely just waiting along the way.

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