What am I Bid? (Self Worth)

If you were a merchandise to be sold in the market, how do you think you would fare?

Are you a prized item on an auctioneer’s block? Would there be a scramble among the crowd to outbid each other for you – you, collector’s item, you?

Or are you unsold inventory bound for the bargain basement? Would you be dumped with the damaged, the seconds, the obsolescent?

Nena measures herself from the eyes of her philandering husband. She thinks it is her fault he is having affairs left and right – she isn’t fair enough, not attractive enough, not smart enough, not understanding enough. She has self-esteem the size of a pea.

Ben considers himself an also-ran. Though he works very hard and updates his skills, he has been passed up not once but many times for promotion. He thinks it must be because he didn’t graduate from a “premium” school and didn’t speak with an impressive drawl and accent.

I used to look at myself from the eyes of others. I thrived on praise -- of my writing, my hardworking ways, my people skills. I took the slightest criticism badly. I'd lose sleep over a bad evaluation when I lectured. I'd throw a tantrum when I was rated less than "outstanding" by my boss. I wanted to resign when I didn’t get a travel or training opportunity I thought fitted me to a T. Constantly, I counted on others to affirm me.

One day, when I was hurting badly from a slight more imagined than real, I told myself: enough is enough. There is a better way to live.

I tried to find it ... in books, in seminars, in churches.

I shouldn’t have looked too far. Inside me, I am intact, whole, undiminished by what other people’s score cards say.

It is easy to believe this now, sure as I am God made me after his image.

Yet, I still forget sometimes.